Perhaps you've heard the parable that goes a little something like this….

A wise father once told his son:

"Son, inside you are two hungry wolves. A black wolf who is resentful, angry, filled with ego and a light wolf who is peaceful, caring and filled with joy. With fangs bared and muscles taunt they are ready to fight to the death but they are both starved, so they wait for their moment.

Do you know which wolf will win asked the father ? No, said the son with eager anticipation. The father smiled and answered...

The one who you choose to feed." 

We find ourselves in a showdown

I always think of this story when I see people struggling to have fun, even in playful and happy settings. It seems that the very call to fun brings about a stressful experience for them. See, just like the little boy in the story, we are in a showdown between our joy hormones and our stress hormones. 

People who constantly feed their dark wolf have their attention rooted in the negative aspect of an experience thus tipping the scales in favour of their stress hormones. They see the kids at a picnic as too rowdy rather than hearing their laughter. They get stressed at the 30 minute flight delay and rant at the stewardess rather than embrace the fact that they about to go on an overseas holiday. They take offence to jokes made at social gatherings rather than find the humour and lightness in it.

Every opportunity they get, they unknowingly choose to feed their dark wolf. It has become their habitual programming.

I know this because I too use to be one of them.

Our natural state is joy and I so badly wanted to be happy more often but I had habituated my focus towards unhappiness.

Sometimes I will still catch myself midway in my old reaction and then gently slide the bowl of food over to my light wolf instead. On the odd time, I still fail at it. But now I am aware.

We like to think that carefree or happy people are just lucky. That their lives are easier and just more fun. Perhaps for some it is this way.

The truth however, is that such people are simply willing to practice happiness. The more you start directing your focus, the better you become at doing it. You will start noticing when you're having a negative thought pattern and with time you will be able to catch yourself before the momentum becomes overwhelming. 

At first you will only notice it long after the experience. Then you start noticing it soon after and if you continue seeing it as a game and a practice you will start to notice your reaction whilst having it. You may not be a master at changing it just yet but this awareness is a great step as what comes next is learning how to change focus towards fun and joy before momentum carries you downhill.

When this happens you start "responding" rather than simply "reacting" based on previously embedded perceptions. A freedom or space sets in where YOU get to choose to feed the light or the dark. When this happens you become the moulder of your own experiences.

You get to have FUN and PLAY with life.

How do you get to be one of these people ? It's a journey but you start by simply asking yourself IF you are willing.

Are you willing to make a play for your own joy ? Willing to practice happiness ? Willing to acknowledge that YOU are in fact responsible ?

The choice as with the little boy, is ultimately yours.